One of the mottos that I live by is "take NOTHING on face value". Why? Because conditions and circumstances don't make the person, it's the person that gives value to conditions & circumstances. What is the Circumstance? The Cycles of Life. There's many cycles/ciphers that one must go thru in life, in order to learn about Self. If you find yourself in a cipher over & over, there's something you missed, & until you get it, you'll recreate that circumstance for yourself so that you can get it right & progress. Once you've graduated that cipher, you step right into the next, the Universe doesn't hesitate one bit...
I'm not one to have regrets about the Life I've chosen, yet there's ONE thing that I did truly regret, for the last so many years - not finishing school. Sure, I graduated high school, 6th in my class w/o even really trying, & at the time it was almost miraculous being that I hardly went, or paid full attention (moved too slow for my taste), or stayed the whole day when I went...Hey, I get bored easy...Quite honestly, I hadn't prepared myself for what a University had to offer me, in terms of taking formal education seriously and giving it my all. I was just used to things coming easy for me, and was blindsided. Well, that and falling victim to my own greed. Simultaneously I took my own self-education VERY seriously, always have, glad I did, & still do. I was of the mind though, that the educational system in America was a joke. In a sense, I was right, just look @ India & Japan's educational programs & you'll see what I mean...
Holding a thought for an extended period of time GUARANTEES that it will be brought to life, & it makes no difference whether that thought is the Best thought, a poor thought, or one of the worst thoughts. Holding this regret has (seemingly) inadvertently opened an opportunity to get the formal education that I subconsciously sought. The 5-6 year plan that I had, has had all of the "unnecessary" coursework stripped a way, with a focus on the core courses (most of which I already know), and I will be done in 33 weeks once it starts. "Lucky" me right? Sagittarius rising has always worked in my favor :)
Now, on face value, it looks like I got fucked in the game that Corporate America plays with people in it's pursuit of all things belonging to the masses, minds included. Yet, I don't see it that way. I got a golden opportunity to see the inner workings of a system that I NEVER thought that they would let me into. Might have caught a sucker punch in the end, but it's "fair", seeing that I suckered them into opening the door in the 1st place, with no hint of a college degree @ all. A determined, swift & agile mind, a "slightly" exaggerated resume`, Gemini gift-of-gab, & I'm in there! That was also my trip-up, I knew TOO much, been there too long & seen the patterns of operation...My time was coming, & by September, I had apparently become a liability moreso than an asset...See, there was the 2009 summer lay-off, where I got paid handsomely to keep my mouth shut for a while about the goings-on...So I just said fuck it & spent that time with my children & friends...What I didn't know, was that they already had plans for me & those like me when we got back...You see, when business is bad, overhead has to be cut down, just business, can't be mad @ that, until you suddenly discover that you ARE the over-head, literally...People fear what they don't understand, oh well...
All in all though, I'm thankful for the opportunity to GET PAID to learn both how to run a business, and how NOT to run a business. I picked up a LOT of skills, ranging from social to technical, leadership & managerial, discipline, even picked up some medical training along the way...ALL IN ONE BUILDING!!! Friendships in ALL walks of life was my everyday all day. Can't honestly think of one person who didn't like me there unless it was envy or jealousy. My entire time there, I kept hearing the likes of "Why are you even still working here?" "U could be doing ANYTHING else!! Y you still work here" "Hell, you could be a professor some damn where!"...I knew the answer, knew I was trapping myself into an "indentured servitude", but the given answer was usually "My Babies need me to be here, if it wasn't for them I'd be elsewhere", or "When I find better I'll be outta here", or my favorite "Because y'all need me here lookin' out for y'all, u see nobody else will"...All right answers, but not Right & Exact...What I didn't realize until recently, was that my ego was constantly being fed, I undoubtedly LOVED being THE go-to person...Life-long ailment that I didn't start to rectify until just this month, still a work in progress...
So now, again, I'm presented with new opportunity. The opportunity that I could have taken advantage of some years ago, but failed to do so. I was watching something by Gregg Braden recently, and paraphrasing, it was said that when you feel that you've lost everything that you sought, congratulate yourself, because you now have the tools to master the adversity that you face. It couldn't have come @ a better time, I think I had that video a few months before I finally decided to watch it. It was then that I made the decision to stomp that final regret in my life, & get my ass back in school to finish what I started...
For the past couple of years, I've been really into Napoleon Hill's "Think & Grow Rich". One of the teachings of that writing is that adversity is a natural part of the road to success. It tests you, to see how bad you REALLY want it! It molds your character, slices & dices all false pretenses that you may have been given about life, & shows & proves to you who you REALLY are! Yeah, the Bible, the Qur'an, 120 and the life of the Prophet Muhammad (& the lives of all great men & women) taught me all that too, but it's not until adversity is RIGHT in your face, that you face the VALUE of it. If things are going well ALL the time, there's no real growth going on, just a recycling of the same old shit, different colors & smells...No different than if things are fucked up all the time...
No debt goes unpaid in the Universe, and I owe it to myself, my Babies, and to many others, to succeed, and to not consciously or unconsciously hold myself back in life. This writing is just one part of my down payment, & as I have been, I'm gonna keep paying forward on it each & everyday in each & every way. What's my definition of success? It doesn't matter, at least it shouldn't matter to the reader, because each one needs to have their OWN measure of success. I have mine, and I know the difference between an idea, and a determined idea. One comes & goes, the latter has no competition, because it's aligned with every natural force in the Universe, & whether particles or waves, who can deny the motion of Light? Not a Sol...As long as I got this bop in my step, Imma keep it movin'...
Peace...
Allah Universal
(Living Mathematics)
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