Anti-Building – Complacence with Entropy

Peace…

When I lived in Mississippi, I found myself sincerely desiring public transportation. Starkville, MS wasn’t that huge (about 21,000+ population), so the need for public transportation other than the University shuttles wasn’t high on the city’s list of priorities. There were a few taxi services offered, but they tended to be pretty unreliable when you wanted to get to work on time. As dirty, stinking, & filthy-mcnasty as the buses of the Milwaukee County Transit System can be, the luxury of not having to drive myself everywhere (still have a sore left shoulder from hours upon hours of driving), wait on a mystery taxi that may never show, or depend on friends for a ride those times when I was w/o car made me miss the bus (no pun intended). Oh, & let’s not forget high ass gas prices & maintenance, insurance for shit that ain’t gonna happen, makes you wanna give your car away , which in fact I did…

Taking the bus might seem like torture to some, but to me, @ least up to this point, it’s been a jewel. Plus, I can’t stand having my time wasted getting pulled over for bullshit. I recall once driving home from grocery shopping with my (ex) Earth (she remembers this too I’m sure) & our hungry, crying Son. The sun was either setting or had just reached the horizon, so I didn’t bother to turn on the headlights because it was a short drive. Of course we get pulled over. It didn’t occur to me that I was yelling at the cop until I saw the shocked look on his face. I then reflected on what I said to him & it was something to the nature of “Why are you wasting my time when I need to get my Sun home to eat?!? Don’t you hear him, what if I stopped you from taking care of your child?!?!?” He nervously explained why he stopped me, so I turned on the lights like “Ok, they on, happy now?!?!” The Earth knew for sure I was goin’ to jail that evening, but dude ended up letting me go with no ticket (showing forth & proving Power) & I ended up @ home asking myself why I didn’t do that more often…Anyway, one of the things I missed most about public transpo was one of my favorite pastimes: People-Watching…

The other day on my way to school, near about 23^th & Burleigh (Milwaukee citizens know the deal with that area), I noticed 3 or 4 new houses being built. This was kind of surprising given that anyone with good sense& money would buy a house a bit further west on Burleigh, unless they planned on renting them out. Apparently two Original Women on the bus noticed this also. I don’t recall all of the dialogue, but I remember one saying: “They buildin’ all these new houses over here? Shiiiit, they tryin’ to do TOO much!! LOL”. It was the tone that gave away how she felt, & the tone to me said that she liked things just the way they were, fucked up. The fact that the other woman laughingly agreed wasn’t too promising either. This Styrofoam cup of hater-ade is nothing new here, you almost get used to it, but this time stuck out to me, & it struck me as odd that a woman wouldn’t want to see her neighborhood beautified. Thinking of it now, it’s also odd that someone waited until its starts to get cold to build houses, but that’s another topic...

Did I say something to these two women? No, what can you say to that when all that’s gonna come out of it is an argument where she’s defending her ignorance? I won’t change a “grown” woman’s (or man’s) mind that doesn’t want to be changed. Ignorance is a paradox of bliss and hell, who am I to take that away from her when she’s so comfy in the cool flames? Later that day, I had a conversation with an Original Man about the complacency of our people, & to paraphrase our conclusion, we agreed that too many people are just used to fucked up & wouldn’t take advantage of opportunity if it was came with their EBT card. They bitch & moan about how things are shitty & don’t make up their minds to either a) stay away from the shitty shit, or b) change it…

Thinking on it today, in regards to Knowledge Build/Destroy, it’s safe to say that some don’t Know the difference between Building and Destroying. When some “Build”, it consists of tearing someone else down so that they can feel their nuts or ovaries a bit more, & continue to be comfortable in their bullshit. I’m not against correcting, & I’m not saying I’ve never been guilty of the same in my past or in recent slip-ups. If criticism isn’t constructive though, its borderline hypocritical if not crossing the line. Then some Destroy self, home, community, lives, characters, minds, etc. & never acknowledge it as such, because it’s building up their wealth or fake ass confidence/reputation, whatever. The people that I knew that some would call criminals, @ least had good enough hearts to admit to & feel bad about the wrongs, just couldn’t see another way bc again, it’s what they/we were used to. As far as they saw it, it was on some Robbin’ Hood shit (pun intended), & I can’t act like I wasn’t torn between Building & Destroying @ that time along with ‘em. Still, I respected their honesty & worked to reach who & when I could, with varying results…

We are trained from every day bombardment to focus on the negatives of life. Hell, me even writing based on a negative situation & using it as a springboard is a testament to that fact, & if you’ve read this far, admit it, you’re just as guilty as I (keep reading though, a point is being made) What I learned, is that blindly reacting only feeds that negativity more, throwing kerosene on the fire (“Ron pass the gasoline the nigga passed me kerosene? (huh)/fuck it its flammable…” – Notorious B.I.G.). We all Know all TOO well how to Destroy! Granted, Destroy is a natural process of life’s cycles (google Entropy, which in layman's terms means Things Fall Apart), that doesn’t mean that that’s all there is though. Turn on CNN, or Fox News, your local news, maybe even the weather channel, & I guarantee over 85% of the hour (including the commercials) is dedicated to the ugly shit that happened that day. We’re desensitized & numb to it & sometimes can’t admit or see where we’re perpetuating the madness. So, um, where does the Building come in?????

All of the above is describing how some people are programmed to be fatalistic, as opposed to programming themselves to be deterministic. Culture/Freedom for me negates the idea that we are somehow pre-programmed mathematically or genetically by the Universe to live out life as tinker toys, wound up to walk a random path we can’t control. Free Will is a reality, take it or leave it. Within a limited selection of choices there’s still a choice, so there’s no room for excuses, only reasons for making the choice. Even in situations where one has no choice of action, there’s STILL the choice of what one wants to THINK, FEEL or SEE in said situations. That’s where the Free Will is, & thus, where the Power is.

I’m training myself to CHOOSE to smile whether I acKnowledge Building OR Destroying going on, when I want to be reactive & up-set, I’ll laugh instead. Not because it’s funny, rather because I caught & stopped myself from being set-up, caught up & falling victim. I’ve trained myself to CHOOSE not to feel a way about certain things so that I can remain objective, & not get caught up as a subject (What King or Queen should be a subject in their own domain?). I teach & train others to do the same, with varying results. It’s NOT easy, yet, I can see no excuse, even for myself, to NOT take the Best Part of EVERYTHING. Now, if my known for blind-rage tantrums self can do it, I know other’s can too, once they see the futility of running their blood pressure up over nonsense. From my experience, & not-so-humble opinion, the Building starts with Building up self, so that Building anywhere “outside of” self is acKnowledged & Respected.

Peace…

Allah Universal